‘Danaaaaaa! The Buoy!’ Me: (to myself): ’No’. Grandma was calling me from the summer kitchen to check on my brother. When he was born, she was in seventh heaven. Having grown up with three brothers, “The Buoys” were everything to her. Since she’d had three daughters instead, she had compensated by calling them “The Buoys.” And when a real Buoy finally arrived, everyone and everything else became secondary – or completely irrelevant. Including me. I had planned to make use of that fact that summer by escaping her radar, but it didn’t work 100%. As much as possible, I tried to keep a maximum distance from her and The Buoy.
Therefore, I positioned myself at the far end of the yard, lying on the summer bed in the garden and drawing. I knew exactly why she was calling me, but based on a quick intuitive assessment, my brother was just fine. He was “working hard” on his little throne. Grandma most likely wanted me to check if he was finished so I could dispose of the final product.
Grandma, again: ‘Danaaaaaa!’ Me: ‘Caaaaarmen!’
My cousin, Carmen, was just as crazy about my brother as Grandma was, and I didn’t want her to miss the opportunity to spend “quality time” with him. On the other hand, I was really hoping for a break from The Buoy during my summer vacation. I was 7 and I had been taking care of him in the “in-betweens” – time gaps between two nannies. My mother was looking for perfection, and since she obviously couldn’t find it, she kept firing them one after the other. During those intervals, I was the one missing school to stay with the little intruder. I always loved school, so for me, it was a pain to spend my time with a creature who didn’t even speak. And please, don’t judge me, Your Honour; I love my brother, but you know I have a low tolerance for mute species. Actually, he wasn’t completely mute, which made the whole thing even more exhausting as I tried to decipher his code – do you sense the similarity? From what I could figure out, ‘Mmm’ meant a decisive ‘No,’ ‘Mmmmm’ meant ‘Leave me in peace,’ and ‘Mmmmmmmmmm’ meant ‘Get off mon derrière.’ And it’s not just an excuse. I had very little authority over him and I knew what his reaction would be if I tried to unseat him from his throne: a long, defiant ‘Mmmmmmmmmm.’ The sun was shining, and his little throne was surrounded by flowers; really, why would anyone want to dethrone him?
With that said, I had no guilt about hiding in the garden. And OOOh, the garden… it was 90% tomatoes and 10% cucumbers, surrounded by cherry plum trees. Tucked into the bottom right corner was my grandpa’s bed. He loved his garden so much that he spent many summer nights sleeping there, so we called it the ‘summer bed.’
That was my little paradise and hiding place. Lying there, beneath the cherry plum branches bowing under the weight of their golden fruit and enveloped by the scent of Giant Bulgarian tomatoes – they were massive, deep crimson gems weighing nearly a kg, with a dense flesh and an intense sweetness that filled the garden with a powerful, earthy aroma – you can understand why I felt no urge to deal with my brother’s ‘final product.’
Carmen was just happy to manage it. Infinite laughs… until Grandma intercepted the swap. She let out an “Eiiiiiiiii!” that crossed the yard, pierced through the summer kitchen, and reached me all the way at the summer bed. I had no doubt it was addressed to me.
“Eiiiiiiiiii” is the prolonged version of the Romanian interjection “Ei,” which has a fascinating, multifaceted meaning. Similar to the English “hey” or “ah,” it is pronounced like “aye” and expresses mostly surprise or indignation. However, in combination with other words, it is even more versatile:
- Surprise/Realization: “Ei, nu știam!” (Oh, I didn’t know!)
- Dismissal/Skepticism: “Ei, las’ că merge!” (Ah, come on, it’ll work!) or “Ei, nu!” (No way! / Come on!)
- Encouragement: “Ei, hai!” (Come on, let’s go!)
- Calling Attention: “Ei, tu!” (Hey, you!)
- Indignation/Protest: “Ei, da’ ce-i asta?!” (Hey, what is this?!)
- Indifference: “Ei, lasă!” (Well, let it be / Forget it!)
Other related forms:
- “Ei, ei, ei!” (Repeated for emphasis) – Expresses stronger disbelief or a warning.
- “Ei na!” – Dismissive; “Whatever!” or “There you go!”
- “Ei și?” – “So what?”
- “Ei, ei, ce vremuri!” – “What times these are!” or “The times we live in!”
Despite the original richness of the word, Grandma managed to add even more to it. Her “Ei” – especially in its prolonged, shouted version – stood for a unique combination of: What the heck? + Gimme me a break + Impossible species + What else?(Full of sarcasm) + Enough said + Get off….I could choose.
Prolonged, multifaceted laughs….I was, I am gooooood.