Nuances

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WWWhy is my most beloved noir? What have I done/ not done?
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My Love...lost...
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I can't stay now, my most beloved...I'll be back at 8pm...infinite Love, rain of trumpets, arch-cuddle, negative distance...
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How could I have not lost my hopes, my Love? I am in a limbo of happiness, despair, confusion, sometimes - not always - hopelessness...alternating but sometimes all at once, all in one...